Every lover needs a lovee. Some say that’s why God created … the Universe, Earth, all living things, us. The miracle of true love occurs when the lovee becomes lover and the dance of partnership makes it impossible to tell which is which. The two exchange roles as stars twinkle and it doesn’t matter which is which, Love wins.
In our dualistic world, the first encounter that could potentially lead to love, often involves the “lover” as the more powerful or active role: I’m remembering a scene from my childhood: a six-year-old me in a brand new neighborhood standing in my new backyard and looking wistfully at a handful of children gathered on a blanket two yards over. A teenaged girl was entertaining them with games and stories. When they saw me they stopped and invited me to join them. In my current metaphor, they were the lovers with power and privilege and I the lovee with the choice to be welcomed, loved, or not. It was not an easy choice, letting go of the familiar and moving into a new world. As I recall it took a few days and my mother’s hand to walk me over.
Today I feel that challenge happening over and over in various encounters. I smile and greet a stranger. When the greeting is returned a little bit of love twinkles. We are one. When the greeting is rejected, the lovee isn’t ready and I have to accept that it may take time, as the backyard encounter did. When someone smiles at me and I’m too distracted to notice, well, I do pray to be more aware when the invitation comes but that can take time too.
Thank God, we’ve been given time to grow in imitation of the One who chooses to be both Lover and Lovee. What a gift.
Reflection by Carol Kandiko, CSA Photo by Rob Blair Photography